Flights of Fanciful Fandom: Memories
May. 31st, 2024 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rhodrymavelyneThere wasn’t much anime at FanimeCon 2024. I might have enjoyed some of what was playing at the Doubletree, anime my husband saw, but didn’t get into.
I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the panel on queer fandom. I felt like I was reliving my youth; as significant events and changes were cited over the years.
I remembered my furtive visits to fanfic sites as our panel host shared them in the early 1990s. It was such a guilty pleasure, going to them. I didn’t dare tell anyone about that pleasure, yet I wouldn’t have given it up. At a time when most of the TV shows I enjoyed were pushing the most contrived heterosexual relationships to deny the homoerotic power crackling between many characters of the same gender; fanfiction was like a drink of cool water upon a parched throat.
I remembered all of that as I sat there, listening. I remembered when the world became aware of slash fanfction. Our enemies screamed abuse and did everything to stop up, putting pressure on the sites where slash fanfic could be found to deny readers their passion. I remembered the crushing sense of betrayal when beloved authors sides with our enemies in opposing our passion, making it all the more guilty.
Thank all the powers in existence for Storm Constantine. It made all the difference in the world that she was there for us, supporting us. It made all the difference to me as a writer, having her as a source of inspiration. It still does. Her words live on to generate creativity, even though we lost her.
No way was I not going to mention her when I realized our panel host had never heard of her. I’m going to remind slash fiction readers and writers of her every chance I get. I remember how much it mattered to me when I found her and started reading her. I connected with Storm Constantine’s writing in a way I hadn’t anyone’s other than Anne Rice’s. This was my writing. This was a writer I felt represented me; what was in my heart that I fumbled to express.
It wasn’t just the Wraeththu books; the amazing, post-apocalyptic, androgynous flowering hope they presented to a binary world. It was everything she wrote. I felt connected to everything.
I’m still mourning her loss. I still draw upon her words for inspiration.
We’ve come so far since that time when Storm Constantine first began to inspire me. It’s taken much of my life and all of my youth to become a published author of original stories and poems along with a prolific fanfiction author at Archive of Our Own.
At least I’ve lived to see these things happen. Not everyone is so lucky.
Thank every power for Archive of Our Own. Thank you for being a place where I can post all of these stories; fanfiction for series lost past which still bubble up inside. Like Storm Constantine, you’ve become a haven, an inspiration, and a historical landmark in fandom.
We are all the better for having you.
I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the panel on queer fandom. I felt like I was reliving my youth; as significant events and changes were cited over the years.
I remembered my furtive visits to fanfic sites as our panel host shared them in the early 1990s. It was such a guilty pleasure, going to them. I didn’t dare tell anyone about that pleasure, yet I wouldn’t have given it up. At a time when most of the TV shows I enjoyed were pushing the most contrived heterosexual relationships to deny the homoerotic power crackling between many characters of the same gender; fanfiction was like a drink of cool water upon a parched throat.
I remembered all of that as I sat there, listening. I remembered when the world became aware of slash fanfction. Our enemies screamed abuse and did everything to stop up, putting pressure on the sites where slash fanfic could be found to deny readers their passion. I remembered the crushing sense of betrayal when beloved authors sides with our enemies in opposing our passion, making it all the more guilty.
Thank all the powers in existence for Storm Constantine. It made all the difference in the world that she was there for us, supporting us. It made all the difference to me as a writer, having her as a source of inspiration. It still does. Her words live on to generate creativity, even though we lost her.
No way was I not going to mention her when I realized our panel host had never heard of her. I’m going to remind slash fiction readers and writers of her every chance I get. I remember how much it mattered to me when I found her and started reading her. I connected with Storm Constantine’s writing in a way I hadn’t anyone’s other than Anne Rice’s. This was my writing. This was a writer I felt represented me; what was in my heart that I fumbled to express.
It wasn’t just the Wraeththu books; the amazing, post-apocalyptic, androgynous flowering hope they presented to a binary world. It was everything she wrote. I felt connected to everything.
I’m still mourning her loss. I still draw upon her words for inspiration.
We’ve come so far since that time when Storm Constantine first began to inspire me. It’s taken much of my life and all of my youth to become a published author of original stories and poems along with a prolific fanfiction author at Archive of Our Own.
At least I’ve lived to see these things happen. Not everyone is so lucky.
Thank every power for Archive of Our Own. Thank you for being a place where I can post all of these stories; fanfiction for series lost past which still bubble up inside. Like Storm Constantine, you’ve become a haven, an inspiration, and a historical landmark in fandom.
We are all the better for having you.
