rhodrymavelyne

For most of the 1990s, I lurked around fanfic sites; shocked and secretly delighted at what I found.

Here LaCroix of Forever Knight got to express his passion for his Nicholas without reservation. Here Mulder of The X-Files didn’t just romance Scully, but let the unresolved tension between himself and Krycek loose in steamy ways. Here the Gua of First Wave weren’t exclusively heterosexual and neither was Cade Foster. Here Derek Rayne of Poltergeist the Legacy didn’t might be Alex Moreau’s mentor in a classical sense, but he’d once been mentored in a similiar fashion by Victor Arkadi. Here Ivanova and Talia of Babylon 5 could explore their romance in more depth. Here Methos and Duncan from Highlander could not just live together, but do so like a married couple. Here Buffy and Faith, the Slayers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer could express their intimate rivalry in other ways than their fists. Here the Watchers from Highlander and Buffy the Vampire Slayer could interact not only with the Legacy, but the Talamasca.

Fanfiction was a deep, guilty pleasure I dared not indulge in myself, even if I lurked obsessively. I was warned if I wanted to see any of my original stories published, I couldn’t be caught writing fanfiction. To make it even more of a guilty pleasure, two of my favorite writers spoke out and took legal action against those who wrote fanfic about their characters.

This crushed me. I felt as if my lover had revealed herself as religious right in the middle of making out, to expose me to a hostile, homophobic public.

Thank every higher power in creation for Storm Constantine. She saved me. I turned to her writing when trying to turn away from my former favorites’s writing. There was a void where they’d been. Storm’s exquisite, poetic prose, rich in slashy characters filled that void.

Storm Constantine had a site with fanfic links. In a moment of bravery, I told her how much I loved her writing. I presented her with a couple of fanfic stories and a poem.

Her thanks and acceptance was a release for my repressed creativity. Being able to write fanfic spurred me on in my original works, breathing life into them once more.

Now I’ve found Archive of Our Own, a wonderful site which feels just right to post on. I’m able to share some of those ideas which have been brewing in my head for years.

As I go through my files of unfinished stories, I find fragments of story I never dare to share. I find stories about Micki Foster of Friday the 13th: The Series and Cade Foster of First Wave being cousins (on the opposite side of the family as Ryan Dallion and Uncle Lewis Vendredi) along with descendants of Nick Knight from Forever Knight. There are stories where Natalie Lambert and Tracy Vetter of Forever Knight find themselves roused from death as Immortals part of Highlander’s Game while Janette Du Charme turns Tessa Noel into a vampire. Duncan MacLeod starts having flashbacks of both Janette and Nicholas feeding on him while Methos recalls how much he teased General Lucius, a.k.a. LaCroix when he was Death.

Colonel Grace of First Wave reveals that she’s not only part of the Illuminati, but Kristen Adams’s aunt in Poltergeist the Legacy; as well as having connections to the Syndicate in The X-Files. This is why Kristen Adams died on Poltergeist the Legacy, after dying previously as Faith’s Watcher in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Kristen was cloned, but why do none of her clones have the acidic green blood of a human/alien hybrid? Why does she disappear like a Gua, something everyone who witnesses her deaths have trouble remembering? Why was Alex in her fluctating vampire state able to not only drink Kristen’s blood, but have some of her humanity return?

All of these stories have been brewing in my imagination for years. Now some of them are finally taking shape in stories.

I’m reminded of them as I watched Kristen Lehman in Midnight Mass and Altered Carbon, remembering some of the crazy crossover ideas I had for Kristen Adams of Poltergeist the Legacy. I’m reminded of them as I sort through my files, finding old fanfics I wished I could share, but didn’t dare.

Thank you, Archive of Our Own, for being a place where I can at last share these stories. Thank you to everyone who ever gave me kudos there. You gave me the courage to stop lurking and start writing.
Thank you to all the fanfic writers I was too shy to thank when I was lurking, secretly savoring your stories. You led the way. You were brave. You are amazing. You inspire others to be amazing, too.

Thank you to Storm Constantine for being the divinely creative and supportive force that you were and are, even if you’re no longer with us. Your words are eternally charged with that spirit. To read you is to remind me of that spirit.

May your spirit continue to guide and inspire us all.

A skeptical paladin sounds like a contradiction in terms, doesn’t it? After all, a paladin needs faith in order to fight. Yes, I’m using a more modern gamer’s definition of paladin than a historical one. A paladin’s power to fight comes from her faith.

This made me wonder if Dana Scully of The X-Files might not be considered, of all the contradictory things, a skeptical paladin. She questions Mulder on everything. She insists his theories being backed up by fact, proof, and science. The only times she can put aside her skepticism is when her own faith is involved. Once a matter concerning her faith arises, Scully shows herself capable of extraordinary deeds, even if she’s simply being blessed by luck which cause her enemies to falter, hesitate or misstep. She’s shown herself to be extremely fierce when she’s guided her faith. This doesn’t just apply to her Christian beliefs but her faith in Mulder. She may question Mulder’s theories, putting them to the test in the harsh light of science, but she believes in Mulder himself. Because Scully believes in Mulder, she believes in his work, their work, even though she questions it every step of the way.

This is a fascinating contradiction, one which makes Scully’s bond with Mulder all the more interesting.

Am I finally boarding the Mulder/Scully ship after all these years? Or at least paddling after it? I was never interested in this relationship in a romantic way while The X-Files was airing. I'd seen so much of men and women being pushed together into a romantic relationship via tropes in the 1990s. Mulder and Scully, however, got a lot of development as characters and human beings outside the stereotypical tropes. This made their relationship evolve in interesting ways, such as Scully showing an intriguing combination of skepticism and a moments of faith-powered conviction. The latter could be a questionable thing in itself which she wasn't always comfortable with. Scully's faith did give her strength to save Mulder more than once, for all her discomfort with her conviction. This made her all the more heroic. It’s also given Mulder the strength to save her more than once. This made him all the more heroic.

Scully gives me a lot to think about as a character. I think this is one of the reasons The X-Files endured for a long time as a series, making a comeback years later. It’s why I’m enjoying seeing it again.