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It’s a new year and I’m not just utterly hooked on Critical Role. I’ve fallen in love with the Mighty Nein animation, enjoying how it explored a dysfuctional relationship I was, perhaps, a minority in being fascinated by in Campaign 2.

Matt Mercer and Liam O’Brien have fantastic chemistry, bringing layers of depth to their roleplaying together. I saw this in action when vampire lord Silas Briarwood stalked and bit Vax in Campaign 1. I saw it whenever Vax and Gilmore interacted, or that powerful moment Hjortis tried to take revenge upon Vax. I saw it in the development of Caleb and Essek’s bond in Campaign 2, a bond I’m hoping we’ll see more of in the Mighty Nein animated series. (Was that there first meeting in a single, shared glance in Episode 8 The Zadash Job? Whoo hoo!)

I noticed this chemistry again, taking a terrifyingly intense turn of master and student turned enemies as Trent Ikithon and Bren faced each other at a dinner party. Listening to their conversation, I wondered at how much of Bren’s pain was carefully planned by his master. Trent reminded me of the Smoking Man on The X-Files, weaving an elaborate web of agony and manipulation, which Bren, like a hapless Fox Mulder, can never escape, grasping strands, only to have them slip out of his hands.

Only was Trent Ikithon’s truly so inescapable? His favorite student may have been crushed by his master’s schemes, yet he rose from the rubble of his former self, remaking himself into a formidable foe.

This was something the Cereberus Assembly master manipulator never failed to take credit for. Pain was a learning tool for Trent Ikithon, and Bren was his masterpiece. Trent’s proudest moment as a master and a mentor would have been his death at Bren’s hands, right before his favorite student took his place on Cereberus Assembly. If Bren failed in his teacher’s expectations, Trent would destroy Bren himself, using the pain such an act would cause to better himself.

All of this was the impression I got of master and student watching Campaign 2 and the one shot in London. Now that Mighty Nein is an animated series, new elements of that relationship are coming to the light.

Mark Strong is doing a marvelous job of bringing Trent Ikithon to life via his voice; even as he allows his villainy to hang out in a classroom, slicing living creatures open to show a response to pain. (I thought of how Caleb in Campaign 2 once said there were wizards who’d cut him open if they caught him. I can see where Bren would have gotten this idea!) Curiously enough, Trent shows a measure of dignity and courage undergoing torture him, revealing he’s quite a gambler with his monarch’s regard and the Beacon itself.

Viewers see Trent’s strength and callousness, yet he reveals a tender, nurturing quality Liam O’Brien commented upon for Bren; his little spark he coaxed into becoming a bonfire. True to Trent, there is a creepiness to all of this; taking the nickname Bren’s mother gave her son and applying it himself. I got the chills, when Trent sat down with Bren and his family, thinking of the London show. I’m guessing that was another deliberate reference. Frumpkin was not amused. No wonder he scratched Trent Ikithon. Trent being Trent, decided the cat was a threat to the Empire, putting Frumpkin on a list of spies and traitors with Bren’s parents as collaborators for Bren to deal with. Ahem. Such a dark and disturbing scene as the death of Bren’s family makes desperate jokes bubble to the surface.

Viewers haven’t seen the rest of what Caleb Widogast revealed about his past, what happened to put him on the streets. Hopefully, we will see it, along with Molly’s kiss for Caleb. Ahem, back to the topic of mentor and student.

What’s different from Campaign 2 is that Trent Ikithon seems to want Bren back. Trent asked Bren to come back, to help him study the Beacon. There was a moment when Caleb lowered his hand, seemed to consider his former master’s offer, where Nott feared Caleb had turned traitor.

I found this moment fascinating; the complexity of not only Trent’s feelings for his favorite student, but Caleb’s for the powerful mage who believed he was special. It might be enough to prompt a moment of treachery, even if it was just a moment.

Speaking of treachery, Trent Ikithon now has Essek. after Essek fought with Dynasty soldiers to take back the Beacon. This might well be the end of Essek, although I hope it’s not. Master Ikithon may have a use for this Kryn dunamancer of dubious loyalties. It may be to retrieve the Beacon, but I wonder if it might not be to retrieve Bren as well? At the very least, Essek may have been commanded to spy upon Trent’s former favorite, learn as much about Bren and his new allies as possible.

This could lead to a very interesting development of Essek getting to know all of the Mighty Nein, particularly Caleb.

Whatever happens next, I’m eager to see it.
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I know I’m obsessed with Critical Role; when the lyrics of Taylor Swift’s Fate of Ophelia change; words “fate of Ophelia” become “Thjazi Fang”.

Chorus lines in the video become a battlefield, where the Tattered Banner struggles to survive against the sorcerous might of the Sundered Houses. Kattigan Vale and Azune Nayar lay dying to see Teor looming over them with glowing hands, Thimble fly at an enemy wizard, while many a Thjazi darts in different directions.

Taylor Swift fighting on the deck of a ship against pirates becomes Occtis Tachonis, tugged in one direction by his family and the other by Thaisha Lloy, while Sir Julien Davinos and Vaelus battle salivating and mournful ghouls around them.

Lines about pledging a hand and a heart become Bolaire kneeling to take Halandil Fang’s hand as Lady Aranessa presents Thjazi with Thimble. Ethrand Tachnonis cannot help ruining the romance by skulking off with an evil grin, brandishing Occtis’s heart.

I know I’m obsessed with Critical Role when I listen to Linkin Park’s The Emptiness Machine; only to find myself visualizing Caleb Widogast and Beauregard Lionett singing the lines, raging against the Empire, the Cerberus Assembly, and corruption in Cobalt Soul. I grin as I visualize Lucien creeping behind both of them to lay a hand upon Caleb and Beau’s shoulders, singing Lady Gaga’s Disease; offering them the seductive terrors of the Nine Eyes to fill the emptiness.

This isn’t the first time Lucien crept into my imagination singing Lady Gaga. The lyrics of Bloody Mary changed to match a jerky dance of the Nonagon’s minions, while Lucien sang mockingly to the poor deluded teammates of Mollymauk Tealeaf, whom thought they’d gotten their precious Molly back with Lucien’s resurrection in a crazy visual which came to me.

What is it with my association of Lucien with Lady Gaga? Is it because Matt Mercer played Lucien in Campaign 2, and Matt did such a good job dancing to Lady Gaga, once upon a time?

This makes me wonder: will Taliesin Jaffe be playing Lucien as well as Molly in The Mighty Nein animated series? Will Lucien stalk Molly within his mind, the way Molly stalked Lucien in Campaign 2 and the novel; The Nine Eyes of Lucien? Will Caduceus Clay have a part in the series? It would be great to have Nine as well as Nein with Jester, Fjord, Caleb, Nott, Yasha, Beau, Molly, Cad, and Essek as part of the team.

I’m delighted to see Essek so soon and that Matt Mercer is doing his voice. I hope with all my heart we’ll get his romance with Caleb in the animated series. It would be lovely to have the homoerotic healing arc of Molly kissing Caleb’s forehead, only for Caleb in turn to kiss Essek; some of my favorite moments in Campaign 2.

I’m delighted we got the beginnings of Fjord and Jester’s romance; flowers appearing around Fjord when Jester first sees him. Jester truly swept Fjord off his feet, not long after he’d been swept off his feet by Uka’toa, a great sequence.

I’m delighted how Jester is a bit of Disney princess with an adult twist, which utterly empowers her. What happened at Jester’s wedding just completes that touch of classic fantasy as well as the Disney princess impression.

I love how Halandil Fang also reminds me of a Disney princess in his interaction with birds and how he takes care of everyone. He’s been at the heart of some truly beautiful moments in Dol-Makjar, becoming the embodiment of what the Schemers are fighting for. I get the impression Bolaire and Azune will find themselves allies in fighting like angry knights against anyone who’d threaten Hal and his family.

You can see how obsessed I am with Critical Role by this blog. Thank you, Critical Role, for being a welcome distraction and positive force during a harsh year. You’ve been one of the best things about 2025. Thank you for carrying on. You give me the courage to carry on myself.
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I just watched Lust for a Vampire again.

Often I roll my eyes at tropes, but tropes are better than total trash, which the swaggering, bullying villains making real life miserable seem to be these days.

The tropes in Lust for a Vampire may be cheesy, but they’re a tasty goat cheese on top of a decent bread with peppers marinated in olive oil on top. Yes, it’s a pretentious cheese, but it’s fun, not tacky, tasteless, and overpriced.

Once this movie would have been considered tasteless, but this is the innocence of never having had a truly atrocious, nightmarish lack of taste inflicted upon you.

I love the black capes lined with red silk, which the vampires in this movie wear. I love the wood-paneled rooms; how elegant and commanding the Countess Herritzen is in her fashionable emerald green and black attire, facing off the men who’d cowed the headmistress with their anger.

She may have been evil, but she had style, which is more than I can say for some of the real life villains, threatening all that’s stylish with their sleaze.
The vampires in this movie; like the Countess and Mircalla, were the embodiment of seductive evil. Even the doctor/count, who committed human sacrifice, covered up the murders, and controlled Mircalla, when she had a moment of too much humanity, had a certain elegant allure in his menace. (I found myself wondering if he might have inspired Muraki in Yami no Matsuei/Descendents of Darkness.)

Victims opened their arms in adoration to these vampires, before seeing their fangs and screaming.

I guess I never fell under the spell of our modern monsters in corporations or politics. I could understand the appeal of a beautiful skyscraper, gardens, space, vintage furniture; all the trappings of wealth.

To undercut and cheapen every product so only the mediocre remains is to oppose beauty, deny it to your customers. To drag everyone into that spiral makes me wonder if you aren’t in league with the World of Darkness’s Wyrm, or you might as well be.

Movies seem to be a record of the lost beauty and elegance we once had, even in what was considered a cheesy movie.

I miss having such beauty and elegance; in restaurants, shops, homes, and products. It saddens me that so many corporations no longer strive for excellence, but seek to suck the elegance out of the world, and spew out mediocrity.

They may be vampires, but they’re not very classy, or fun.
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All sorts of ideas have been bubbling in my head, creating a weird pot of crossover concepts melting into each other.

The Pattern’s incarnation lures the Logrus Serpent of the Amber Chronicles into chasing it into the heart of order, burning the poor wyrm. It sheds its lovely unicorn form and becomes a pattern spider, the Pattern Spider…the Weaver.

The Weaver traps the Logrus in its web, where it burns from the proximity too much order, leaking chaos into the Pattern. Something escapes, the best of it, becoming Wyld, fleeing into the Wyld.

The Weaver takes the Logrus’s other eye. It thrashes, melting, kept from being utterly obliterated by its cocoon, trapped and corrupted. It becomes the Wyrm.

No one can walked the Pattern or traverse the Logrus in its state of corruption. To do so is to be caught in a Black Spiral Dance of madness.

A hideous old witch, a bit like Mombi in the Oz Books, watches over the corrupted Pattern and Logrus. They have a beautiful princess of Amber or a lord of Chaos captive. The princesses have been forced into male form since birth, but they can sense what they are. They long to escape. The lords of Chaos can no longer shapeshifter. They must escape, before they are transformed into marble statues.

Wizards in cities and government agents sense something is amiss in the world, monsters and anomalies manifesting in response to the wrongness, but they’re unsure what the exact cause is.

See what happens when I have all these fannish ideas in my head? Eventually they emerge from the soup and take flight, making me marvel at their mad form. (wry grin)
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My imagination’s attic is jammed full of sprawling fanfic ideas I never had the time to put into words. Sometimes, I just didn’t have the words.

Once upon a coffee house with a notebook and a pencil during the late 1990s, I started writing a scene with Alex Moreau of Poltergeist: The Legacy, sitting at a table with a dinner party of the undead. It was the very same party of undead which greeted Joe, Jeremy, and the doomed girl with them in the movie, ‘Return to ‘Salem’s Lot.

I always had a soft spot for that movie. I’ve thought of its characters, their failed attempt to mainstream, as I saw that experiment practiced widescale by vampires on the TV series True Blood.

Back to my fanfic idea. Rachel Corrigan and her daughter, Kat were with Alex. They were trying to find Kristen Adams, even though they’d believed her to be dead.

The vampires at the table were quite congenial, especially Mrs. Axle and Amanda. They’d known Kristen by another name; Hallie Stokes.

Yes, here comes the Dark Shadows crossover.

Judge Axle wasn’t quite as friendly as his wife, but he respected Alex, whom he was acknowledging as a vampire, a vampire who somehow outranked him.

Not too long ago, a vampire named Kakistos had moved into ‘Salem’s Lot territory, tried to take it over. The vampires of ‘Salem’s Lot had been quite relieved that Hallie Stokes brought a Slayer to town, a Slayer who injured Kakistos, convincing him to leave the area, even if it was only to seek revenge.

Here comes the Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover.

Amanda leads Alex, Rachel, and Kat to the place where Hallie Stokes died at Kakistos’s fangs and claws. Alex and Kat pick up some of the emotions of the place, including Hallie’s.

Hallie Stokes feels like and unlike Kristen, something Alex doesn’t understand.

The second scene I wrote involved Alex Moreau going to Sunnydale, trying to find Faith. What she finds is Scott Hope, whom she realizes is actually Ethan, Kristen’s brother.

Kristen and a mysterious aunt of hers with government connections arranged for Ethan to switch with the real Scott Hope, whom was actually a romantic interest of Ethan’s. He’s quite upset to learn that Scott died, killed by someone who thought he was Ethan. He didn’t believe Kristen would do anything that ruthless. It does sound like something his aunt would do.

Enter the First Wave crossover; for I was already imagining the aunt was Colonel Grace, a very interesting antagonist in that series. I always suspected she was part of the Illuminati. I could also see her as part of the Syndicate, if one were to crossover First Wave with The X-Files.

I was already thinking of The X-Files crossover, for cloning was involved. At the same time, I thought something else might be used, to stop the various Kristen look-alikes from dissolving into green goo, which causes temporary blindness.

Ethan wasn’t convinced that Kristen was dead. He did feel that his aunt might have something to do with the various versions of Kristen popping up.

The last scene which came to me was Kristen awakening, after dreaming of her death on Poltergeist the Legacy and being ripped apart by Kakistos as Faith screamed.

Colonel Grace would be standing by her beside, a proprietary smile on her face, her ring on her finger.

“Welcome back, my darling,” she’d say.

Ideas came to me years later, about weaving a younger Tara McShea (back to Buffy the Vampire Slayer) into the narrative as a “cousin” of Kristen and Ethan’s, whom Colonel Grace was also watching, as she’d watched Tara’s mother. Tara might have been contact with Kristen and Ethan. She might even glimpse Willow from afar before they meet in the canon.

I always meant to put these pieces together in a coherent narrative. There was never enough time and time passed. Those ideas remained in a prominent spot in my Imagination’s Attic, waiting to be dusted off and written.

I’ve got a lot of similar ideas in that attic. Some of them have become fanfic. Some are ongoing fanfics in want and need of finishing.

I never forgot this particular story idea. It’s one I hope to polish up and add more words to, even if it ends up shorter and more condensed than what I’d visualized.

I’ve been able to unpack and condense similar stories. I got very distracted by detail in this one; expanding and exploring, fleshing out the characters. They were fun story fragments to write, even if I was shy about sharing them.

Overcoming my shyness has been rewarding thus far.

Here’s hoping it continues to be.
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Tight, intimate detail draws me into a series, especially involving character interaction. I loved it in Hannibal and American Gods.

I’m seeing it in some of Marvel’s mini-series; Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, and especially Daredevil.

World of Darkness sourcebooks encouraged players to storytelling with such detail, bringing the setting, along with the characters to life.

The New York City Marvel has created for Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Matt Murdock, Danny Rand, and the people whom interact with them feels like a city in the World of Darkness; in its shadows, violence, and intimate detail.

It’s a self-contained little world in this city; where Harlem, Hell’s Kitchen, and the various corners are explored by the characters.

I know these corners will overlap. I haven’t seen The Defenders yet, although I want to. I’m wanting to get to know each of the superheroes on their own terms first.

Charlie Cox brings a compelling energy to the character of Matt Murdock. Jessica Jones manages to be tough and damaged in a way I cannot look away from. Luke Cage created a shell for himself, which is nowhere as damage proof as he is. Danny Rand explodes into moments of rage, which reveal just how much damage he’s endured.

I’m looking forward to seeing how they interact. They’ve already gathered a host of interesting characters around them; Misty Knight, Colleen Wing, Foggy Nelson, Karen Page, Elektra, Trish/Patsy, Malcolm, and Jeri Hogarth. Their foes are fascinating as well; Kilgrave, Wilson Fisk, Cottonmouth, and Madam Gao.

When Daredevil began; Matt, Foggy, and Karen in their little Hell’s Kitchen offices reminded me of Angel, Doyle, and Cordelia Chase at the very beginning of Angel, when they worked out of their small L.A. office. There was energy, which felt similar, despite distinctive differences.

Luke and Danny just lost their place and are searching for it. Jessica’s office and apartment give Bo and Kenzi’s flat in Lost Girl a run for its money in being run-down. Jess gets to know everyone in that apartment, just as Luke seemed to know everyone at Pop’s barber shop. Danny wandered through places which were no longer his.

It was truly scary, seeing David Tennant play Kilgrave after seeing him as the Doctor. Crowley on Good Omens seemed warm and fuzzy by comparison, but that’s another story.

Cottonmouth promises to be even more complex than Wilson Fisk. I marvel at how Fisk managed to be a monster and man, in his relationships with Vanessa and Wesley. Seeing him gave me Francis Dolarhyde and Hannibal Lecter flashbacks. The Adagio in D playing in the restaurant helped with that, plus it made me smile.

The City of Darkness takes its heroes on an interesting journey, different from the one of explosions and earth-shaking battles that the other Marvel heroes fight.

We’re on a more intimate level for this struggle. I’m curious where it will lead.
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I’ve been thinking of found families a lot in the Star Wars universe. Found families in the Force tend to link many people who choose to be Jedi or Sith.

Ahsoka Tanno expanded Anakin Skywalker’s found family in the Force; a family which included Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jin, and even Count Dooku, with Yoda presiding over them all as the elder; later instructing Anakin’s son in the ways of the Force.

Seeing some of the Star Wars series on Disney+; The Clone Wars, Ahsoka, Rebels, Tales of the Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Visions have made me increasingly aware of this family. For some members; like Obi-Wan, it was all he had.

The Jedi, as well as the Sith took people from their friends and families, something which struck me as a bit sinister, yet the Force did take over the lives of those who wielded it. I remember how in some of the Star Wars books; Leia struggled to balance the various demands of her life, including her Force-sensitivity; while watching Luke drift away more and more as being a Jedi came to completely define him.

The Star Wars universe deepened and diversified as other Force families were brought in, overlapping with Anakin’s. I feel like there’s a whole untold story about Ahsoka taking on Sabine Wren as an apprentice, despite Sabine not being particularly strong in the Force. Getting to know the characters of Rebels; such as Ezra and Kanan broadened that universe, along with Kanan’s rivalry with Darth Maul over Ezra’s tutelage. It’s nice to see Jacen back in the Star Wars universe, even if he’s Hera and Kanan’s son, not Han and Leia’s. Perhaps Jaina will return eventually as well.

This galaxy far far away captivated me when I was a child, taking me far away. As a middle-aged woman, I’m delighted to see that galaxy continue to develop with new generations of creators and fans.

I’m still marveling at the flight of fanciful fandom it takes us on in various forms of story. May it continue to fascinate many generations.
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At last, I saw the second seasons for Interview with the Vampire and The Mayfair Witches, after a very long hesitation.

Why the hesistation? Interview with the Vampire remains one of my favorite books ever. The entire Vampire Chronicles is one of my favorite series. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel as a fan about the changes the television series was making as they advanced.

Parts of Chronicles of the Mayfair Witches I loved. Other parts were traumatically nightmarish. I wasn’t sure which parts would become part of the TV series and which would be dropped.

Daring to see both TV series, I found I enjoyed them a lot.

Armand felt far more toxic than he did in the books. All right, he was pretty bad, yet seductively, deliciously bad, until he reached Queen of the Damned, where he became hilariously adorable as Daniel’s sugar daddy. I recall Anne Rice saying in an interview that she intended for Armand to have a larger part in her third book, but he wasn’t evil enough.

I wonder if the makers of Interview with the Vampire didn’t decide to go for that evil. At the same time, Armand of the TV series was charming, cultured, seductive, and ruthless; qualities he possessed in the books.

I wonder if Armand didn’t love both Louis and Daniel deeply, even if he was also capable of sacrificing both of them?

Rowan and Lasher were far less toxic in the TV series than they were in the books. Letting the nonconsensual aspects of their relationship go made for a more complex and loving bond, which still managed to be disturbing. The Taltos remained innocent and destructive, yet less willfully so.

The Mayfairs were the truly wicked ones. The most wicked of them all was Julien Mayfair.

Gone was Lasher’s lover, the moments of romance between Julien and his familiar. All that was left was the pretense; the ruthless protégé of Marguerite Mayfair, a role Julien didn’t care to dwell upon when telling his story to Michael Curry in the books.

Julien became far more of a villain than Lasher. This startled me, yet why wasn’t he capable of such a role? The books indicated he was, for all his charm.
Julien boasted in the book Lasher of his immunity to Lasher’s charm, due to his masculinity. The softness of femininity conveyed a vulnerability to the Mayfair familar, one which could be used to overpower and kill the women.

This bothered me when I read the book, even though I enjoyed the parts with Julien and Lasher.

There is a certain logic in taking this assertion of male immunity to Lasher, showing how cold and ruthless it could be. It lead a man to be capable of brutal murder of his own flesh and blood, of innocents in order to achieve his goal.

This happened in the book. It also happened in the series.

Both Lestat and Julien became quite brutal in the TV series, yet I feel that both were capable of such brutality in the books, even if they may not have expressed them in the same ways. They could be both cruel and tender to their loved ones.

I wonder if Julien and Lestat will end up warring over Rowan as they did in the book? It would be interesting, if they also fought over Louis.

I could imagine Julien Mayfair as being a patron of a mortal Louis de Pointe du Lac’s establishment in the red light district. There may always have been an attraction between them, even though Louis didn’t acknowledge it, let alone act upon it.

Lestat and Julien was far too alike in the many ways. They loved the same women. Perhaps they’d love the same men as well? (They did both love Quinn Blackwood in the books, although I have no idea if that character will make an appearance in any of the TV series.)

One of the things I missed in The Mayfair Witches was the male intimacy from the books. I loved how the bond developed between Michael Curry and Aaron Lightner, Michael Curry and Julien Mayfair, and even between Julien Mayfair and Lasher.

Every character who overshadowed Rowan Mayfair was removed from the narrative; Michael Curry, Aaron Lightner, and even Mona Mayfair. She was able to take center stage in a way she didn’t in the books, for all she was a very strong character.

There’s an opportunity for feminine intimacy in the TV series; an intimacy I enjoyed when it flourished in the books between Rowan and Mona, Mona and Mary Jane, Rowan and Dolly Jean. I see some of that same intimacy between Rowan and Dolly Jean in the TV series, along with potential for it to blossom between Rowan and Jojo, Rowan and Moira.

I loved the character of Jojo, a trans woman as one of the Mayfair witches, Cortland’s favorite, and Rowan’s confidante.

I enjoyed how Moira did the opposite of Mona, starting out as a jealous rival, only to become more of an ally, as opposed to the intimacy which blossomed magically between Rowan and Mona in the book Taltos, only to turn into jealous adversity in The Blood Canticle. I’m hoping Rowan and Moira’s relationship becomes a more intimate one.

I wish both TV series could have done more pick-ups of exquisite detail, like the ones both Hannibal and American Gods displayed. Such moments are a chance to capture with the camera a sense of Anne Rice’s flowery prose. There was one scene with a statue in Paris with that lingering detail. I wish there had been more.

Overall, I really enjoyed both of the second seasons, the television drama made of the books. I enjoyed how the intimacy rekindled between Louis and Daniel at the end of the interview, after realizing how Armand played with both of their lives. I enjoyed the linking of the two worlds, noting how much more sinister the Talamasca is in both.

I wonder how those worlds will collide. I wonder if the Talamasca makes both collide.

I hope The Mayfair Witches contines. I hope The Vampire Lestat will have it debut on television.
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Grand Guignol is a term I only learned in recent years, yet it’s something I’ve been aware of for years. It may have been the beginning of modern horror with its theatrical attempts to shock and splatter.

The term comes to mind when I think of the series; Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. This went beyond the gothic thrillers I enjoy, dipping into gore and shock, disturbing me, yet it was peppered with cozy moments. As dark as this series got, it never lost sight of heart, family, or friendship. Humor often tapped a beat out in time amidst the horror tropes, as the characters subverted those tropes as part of their journey.

Much of the cozy involved Sabrina’s aunts, Zelda and Hild, whom I came to enjoy as much as Sabrina. They were living out a stereotype of witches as Satanists in the Church of Night, yet their strength and love of family wouldn’t allow them to stay that way. They found a way to be witches serving Hecate, abandoning Lucifer as their dark lord.

Not that Lucifer liked it or the men in the Chuch of Night. Satanism forced witches into a submissive position, under their dark lord. Witches found they wanted far more than what the Church of Night had to offer.

Trope after trope from a girl in a white dress forced to sign her name in the devil’s book to a vampire overwhelming a girl’s will to bite her was introduced and challenged.

I marveled at the carnival of Grand Guignol (and yes, there was an actual carnival) which made an appearance, only to be subverted in some fashion, being exactly what I expected, and yet not what I expected at all.

Somehow this felt very traditional, and yet there was an arc, leading the cast away from tradition.

It’s intriguing to watch and very cleverly played out. It makes me think about the way we can play with tropes and subvert them. There’s a lot of love for these tropes, yet an acknowledgement expressed in the characters’s growth that you can go far beyond them. A label does not express the whole truth of a person or a community. More can seethe within that community than the trope can contain.

This has given me a lot of food for thought.
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One of Darth Vader’s compelling traits as a villain isn’t just his iconic armor, the sinister sound of his breathing; although those things are compelling. Nor is it the fact that he took a suit meant to compensate for life-threatening disabilies and turned it into an expression of power; complementing his formidable mastery of the Force.

All of these traits make him one of the most memorable villains of all time. I’m struck by a quality which drives the plots with Darth Vader, making him again a force to be reckoned with.

This character is obsessive to the point of madness. He directs all of his considerable strength; personal and temporal towards his obsession.

When he was Anakin Skywalker, he was obsessed with Padme. When he became Darth Vader, he became obsessed with Obi-Wan Kenobi. No longer was he restained by morality or anything else. He was set up finding his old master, defeating him, and triumphing over him.

Neither of these obsessions ever left Vader, not completely. They rekindled and became one when he discovered Padme had children, a child Obi-Wan had been training. They became fixated upon Luke Skywalker, his son. Luke was the only legacy of his love for Padme (or so he thought). Young Skywalker had been Obi-Wan’s remaining triumph over Vader, the hope he died for.

An obsession with reclaiming his son threatened to tear the galaxy apart, completely focused upon Luke and anyone in his way.

Maybe the very thought of Leia enduring being the focus of that dangerous obsession drove Luke to fight his father with all his checked rage in Return of the Jedi. In the end, Luke stopped himself, stopped his rage.

Did Vader ever stop himself? Did he let others stop him? I’ve wondered at the way Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, and even Leia have slipped through his fingers in the movies and the series.

Vader told Obi-Wan that he betrayed and murdered Anakin Skywalker in his battle with his former master at the end of Obi-Wan Kenobi; a lie Ben chose to embrace and pass on to Luke.

This turned out to be a lie in more ways than one. Maybe Anakin was always there, making Vader hesitate at crucial moments, rather than lashing out with his full power.

It’s something I find myself thinking about, after seeing the movies and certain series multiple times.
Yes, I’ve seen them multiple times. I’ve got something in common with Darth Vader; I can be obsessive.

I’ve sometimes imagined having the power to push aside or rip apart anything which stands between myself and what I want. When I was a child, I used to imagine having such power.

As an adult, I sometimes still visualize such an ability vibrating in my entire body, wanting to get out, wanting to lash out.

It’s just as well I don’t have such a power. Such a power could very difficult to stop. You might need others to help stop you.

Perhaps Vader did have those people, even if he didn’t realize it at the time.

It’s something to wonder about.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
I was so obsessed with Star Wars as a child, particularly the light sabers. The way they glowed, hummed, and crackled when they hit another saber.

I marvel that this particular universe and story has prevailed, carrying on to generation after generation. My niece and nephews all love Star Wars. They’ve seen all sorts of TV series on Disney+ I haven’t.

Hanging out at my in-laws’s home over the holidays, I saw the first few episodes of Acolyte. Once again, twins are playing a major part in a Star Wars story, only this time they’re identical and both girls.

In a curious way, they’re reminding me of Beth and Kate Kane from Batwoman more than Luke and Leia. They’re closer than anyone, yet divided by allegiences to the Jedi and the coven which raised them.

There is something irresistible about creating a coven of witches in the Star Wars universe. Yes, the Jedi knights exist, but they’re more like a priesthood with a strict code of ethics, not allowing room for wildness. The Sith feel like their shadow, absorbing all their negative emotions, inverting and mirroring their power.

I was wary of being drawn into Star Wars again, because it’s been a powerful obsession in my life. As a child, I collected figures. I was fascinated by Darth Vader, his sheer sinister power; by the fact that he was the father to these slight, white-clad adversaries; Luke and Leia. I was fascinated by how close he was to them, yet opposed.

There had never been anything like that I’d ever seen as a child, your own father being the villain. Now it’s become almost iconic and I jumped on the bandwagon with everyone else, embracing the notion of family as a protagonist’s adversary.

There’s no foe worse than those closest to you, yet Lord Vader is hardly the worst father out there. At least he seems to want his children, even if they’re on the opposite side.

I’ve been drawn to the development of this relationship in the comics; reading some of the ones about Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, enjoying how Han Solo, Artoo (amused at how foul-mouthed the little droid is when he’s not around Luke or Leia), Threepio. Chewbacca, and Lando interact with them; delighting in the addition of characters like Dr. Aphra.

Now we have Disney+. Now I have a chance to try some of those TV series my family have been watching.

Time to indulge.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
At a time when I seek to get away from my own despair, I latched onto this show.

Complex characters developed over the course of four seasons. These teenagers grew up in a time more technologically and socially advanced than mine, yet they showcased an all-too familiar pecking order. Many of the insecurities they suffered from, I remember only too well.

Hannah was such a strong voice, speaking for attractive, smart women who don’t fit smoothly in the category of either social elites or outcasts. I felt she was falling into a crack, which I often felt yawning under me, when I dared to show how much I didn’t fit it.

Clay and his family did something my parents and I did; allowing friends of mine whom were having a hard time to stay with us. Only Clay took it a step further; Justin became part of his family. He became his brother.

I marvel at seeing how they were romantic rivals and enemies in the beginning over Hannah, yet her memory brought them together, forming a bond which was among the strongest they had. It was beautiful and bittersweet, seeing how this evolved and changed.

One thing I envied was being able to go to formal dances without a date of the opposite gender, a change I’ve found wondrous. Having two prom kings was a dream come true, something I’m delighted to see future generations celebrate.

I do remember at regular dances forming a circle, those of us without a date. We’d sway together during the slow numbers; feeling the power of honoring a more communal and less intimate love than that of a twosome.

I recalled this when Clay’s friends surrounded him during a song which reminded him of Hannah. Seeing them all link arms and slow dance together echoed that power, yet it had a unique sweetness all its own.

The court trial brought back a recent memory of anxiously awaiting results of how fate and the law would effect the future. The result was like an echo in fiction of what happened in reality.

When all of the survivors of abuse showed the courage to stand up and declare it, I cried. I remembered all the people I’ve know who survived sexual abuse. I found myself crying and crying, yet I felt my spirits lifting, as if I was relieved of a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying.

There was so much pain in high school, yet there were moments I wouldn’t have taken back for anything. I could see one of those moments in the prom. Seeing the two kings, seeing the various kids dancing reminded me of times when I danced, gathered with a club for a picture, or shared a moment with my friends.

High school is a difficult rite of passage, but what would we have without it? What would we lose, if we didn’t have it? If kids didn’t go through it?

No one should terrorized or bullied, but everyone should have a chance to learn, grow, and develop their thoughts; discovering themselves as they do.

May future generations never lose the power to flourish as individuals. May you find wonder and encouragement as you learn, regardless of what obstacles stand in your way.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
I keep thinking of a myth I’ve forgotten most of, yet I remember a painting of it. Athena triumphs over Ares, forcing warfare to slink away from the battlefield, giving way to wisdom.

I saw this, long before I ever watched Hercules or Xena: Warrior Princess; where Kevin Smith made Ares sexy and sympathetic, if a very manipulative bad boy.

Ares didn’t strike me as being sympathetic in many of the original myths. He provoked quarrels, violence, and bloodshed. He made the world an unstable, unhappy place.

Athena could outwit him and outfight him, but she had many skills beyond applying her wits to war. She used them to guard, guide, and educate. She was a weaver and a patron of knowledge. She could be a champion for those trying to think of a way out of their difficulties as well as to the mighty.

Athena had flaws, but I marveled at how well-rounded she was. Athena was capable of many things, accomplishing, and helping others to accomplish many tasks.

Ares specialized in one thing; something warriors relished and reveled in, yet also kindled their horror and regret. He spread unhappiness, encouraging other to spread it as well.

I’m thinking of this myth a lot right now. It feels as if there’s been too much war and not enough wisdom.

I’m hoping wisdom will get the upper hand in the world.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
How strange the different directions my fannish thoughts may wander.

I was listening to Niko’s theme on the Dead Boy Detectives soundtrack. It reminded me of something; one of the strains. I couldn’t remember what.

It came to me while I was unloading the laundry; listening to Fred Mollin’s score for Forever Knight Season 1: Dark Knight.

I wasn’t thinking of Niko’s theme at all. I was too delighted to recognize the moment when LaCroix and Nicholas were reunited while Alyce Hunter watches, feeling a utter shiver of delight which I kept private for years.

Yes, I was part of the Unnamed Faction. LaCroix and Nick didn’t have to touch, just speak and look at each other. I was utterly enthralled.

Recognizing that moment brought back that swoon, that moment of excitement.

The score to Dark Knight gave way to Lori Yates’s song; Touch the Night. I recalled how it was used in one of the Forever Knight boxed sets as a Nick’N’Natpacker video. I found myself appreciating that aspect for the first time as I listened to the music, the lyrics.

Natalie Lambert could touch the night when she touched Nick, feeling her own mortality, her inner ticking clock, along with the temptation embodied by him.

I have softened so much towards this pairing with time and the easing of homophobia; if Nat is allowed to be a full, complete character rather than reduced to some feminine ideal of love, guiding Nick to heaven. If she’s allowed to be tempted, falter, facing with snark and her wits the many obstacles between Nick and herself.

All of this was in my mind when I realized what Niko’s theme reminded me of; the music playing in Daughters of Darkness when Elizabeth Bathory lit the black candles for a final meal with Valerie and Stefan before Elizabeth and Valerie make a meal of Stefan. There’s something delicate about the strain as Elizabeth plays her final word game with Stefan, right before he gives into his violently possessive feelings about Valerie, rousing the violence in Elizabeth, and awakening it in Valerie.

Elizabeth is denying being a ghoul, lightly saying she’s one of those outmoded characters, the beautiful stranger in a lonely setting. Stefan responds by saying death follows her everywhere.

Curious to hear an echo of that strain while Crystal speaks to Niko on Dead Boy Detectives; the two girls discussing the lonely voids in their lives left by lost family members, voids which echo and overlap, drawing them together.

It’s only the music, as Heather Alexander sang years ago in a song or is it?

Regardless, it’s a lovely tune.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
Most of my life I’ve taken flights of fanciful fandom.

I’ve lost track of the times I’ve gone to Oz or Wonderland as a child. I’m not sure if I was aware of the concept of fanfic until I was an adult. I imagined, talked, and roleplayed it, driving many people crazy as I dragged them into it with the enthusiasm of an obsessive. I played out crazy crossovers with a mixture of Star Wars figures, Smurfs, and Strawberry Shortcake miniatures.

I enjoyed reading fanfics and visualized my own, not quite daring to write any; not until Amber Diceless Roleplaying Game.

One of the ways to get extra character points was to write a journal for my character. Rowan, daughter of Deirdre (none of the male players got the Anne Rice reference, although they smirked whenever my character was around Martin) was fleshed out exquisitely.

I’ve returned to The Chronicles of Amber while keeping a promise I made to myself during lockdown; to return to the books I loved and write reviews for them. I was one of the few people who enjoyed the Merlin books as much as the Corwin books, although I needed the Corwin books to enjoy them. I needed to get to know Corwin and Brand first to appreciate the hungry holes of need they left in Merlin and Rinaldo’s lives, holes which would be a shared bond between the two young Amberites. I needed to encounter Dara with Corwin; appreciating her with, strength, and ambition to see what Merlin was grappling with, to catch a glimpse of what a forbidden passion as well as a power project the Silver Rose of Amber might be.

I’ve found myself writing fanfic about Dara along with some of the other women of Amber. Flora and Llewella have discovered voices which surprised me. I wonder about Nayda; once a more ambiguous life form being shaped into something more definite as Gail, finding herself trapped in a body. I consider the more sinister impression she must have of Mandor than Merlin does, not to mention Dara. I think of how much she impressed the Pattern, how interesting it would be if the ultimate entity of Order continued a more friendly relationship with this Chaos demon.

I find new characters popping into my head as I chortle over the stoned boys at the Wonderland bar; singing, watching the man paint while the Cheshire Cat grins. I imagine a non-binary bartender named Alys with the blood of Amber and Chaos, yet no knowledge of either Pattern or Logrus. All Alys knows is the mural, reflecting a shifting reality which they’re helping the man create. Sometimes Alys arm-wrestles visitors and borrows the Vorpal Sword to fight bandersnatches. They sport a bandersnatch tattoo, pouring drinks for Merle and Luke when they come to visit. They listen as the two kings get drunk and sing.

I find myself hanging onto Mandor’s every word as he wines and dines Merlin with such charm, courts Fiona, and entertains Jasra; all the while noting his casual mention of the hells he’s personally designed.

There’s so much potential in Amber and Chaos. It’s a creative cauldron of a vast array of worlds overlapping each other, sometimes shifting and changing along with their denizens.

How could I resist?
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
It never happened except in Ponclast’s imagination. The confrontation he had with Swift in The Bewitchments of Love and Hate was all they got.

Never mind that hating Swift kept Ponclast going all that time in the Forest of Gebaddon. Never mind that Swift hated him for what he did to his father, to Gahrazel, and perhaps for making him hate himself for being a Varr.

Ponclast was no match for Pellaz. Lileem turned out to be exactly the right person for Ponclast at the right time. In the end, I’m glad things went the way they did in the canon.

I let go of my flights of fanciful fandom about Swift crossing swords with Ponclast or one of his lost brothers. I let go of fantasies of Swift and Tyson fighting back to back, embracing the part of both of them that was Terzian.

There’s many a story about a he with the sword. Far more magical ways are found of coping with their foes, often mingled with mundane ones.

I love the way characters can talk out their problems in the Wraeththu universe without feeling like we’re losing any of the drama. If anything, the drama is being subverted, questioned, and reshaped.

My fancies change into the private scenes, dreams, imaginings of what could have been. Swift could have had nightmares about the events in the second trilogy or even the first. Maybe he and Tyson will talk about these nightmares.

Pellaz and his dynasty are larger than life and I love them. At the same time, I have a soft spot for those Who Dwell in Forever.

Somehow it doesn’t feel like matters have settled between Seel and Cal either. I found myself listening to Me and Ur Ghost by blackbear; picturing Seel coping with all the changes, his emotions for Cal in The Wraiths of Will and Pleasure.

I’m still reading some of Storm Constantine’s Wraeththu books. I’m not sure if she ever told that story.
I look forward to reading the ones that she did; along with the Wraeththu stories others told.

I’m glad she opened the universe up to other writers, allowing Wraeththu to continue. She truly expanded the universe in the second trilogy.

It’s the sort of universe with our combined imaginations that will keep expanding.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
There wasn’t much anime at FanimeCon 2024. I might have enjoyed some of what was playing at the Doubletree, anime my husband saw, but didn’t get into.

I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the panel on queer fandom. I felt like I was reliving my youth; as significant events and changes were cited over the years.

I remembered my furtive visits to fanfic sites as our panel host shared them in the early 1990s. It was such a guilty pleasure, going to them. I didn’t dare tell anyone about that pleasure, yet I wouldn’t have given it up. At a time when most of the TV shows I enjoyed were pushing the most contrived heterosexual relationships to deny the homoerotic power crackling between many characters of the same gender; fanfiction was like a drink of cool water upon a parched throat.

I remembered all of that as I sat there, listening. I remembered when the world became aware of slash fanfction. Our enemies screamed abuse and did everything to stop up, putting pressure on the sites where slash fanfic could be found to deny readers their passion. I remembered the crushing sense of betrayal when beloved authors sides with our enemies in opposing our passion, making it all the more guilty.

Thank all the powers in existence for Storm Constantine. It made all the difference in the world that she was there for us, supporting us. It made all the difference to me as a writer, having her as a source of inspiration. It still does. Her words live on to generate creativity, even though we lost her.

No way was I not going to mention her when I realized our panel host had never heard of her. I’m going to remind slash fiction readers and writers of her every chance I get. I remember how much it mattered to me when I found her and started reading her. I connected with Storm Constantine’s writing in a way I hadn’t anyone’s other than Anne Rice’s. This was my writing. This was a writer I felt represented me; what was in my heart that I fumbled to express.

It wasn’t just the Wraeththu books; the amazing, post-apocalyptic, androgynous flowering hope they presented to a binary world. It was everything she wrote. I felt connected to everything.

I’m still mourning her loss. I still draw upon her words for inspiration.

We’ve come so far since that time when Storm Constantine first began to inspire me. It’s taken much of my life and all of my youth to become a published author of original stories and poems along with a prolific fanfiction author at Archive of Our Own.

At least I’ve lived to see these things happen. Not everyone is so lucky.

Thank every power for Archive of Our Own. Thank you for being a place where I can post all of these stories; fanfiction for series lost past which still bubble up inside. Like Storm Constantine, you’ve become a haven, an inspiration, and a historical landmark in fandom.

We are all the better for having you.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
For most of the 1990s, I lurked around fanfic sites; shocked and secretly delighted at what I found.

Here LaCroix of Forever Knight got to express his passion for his Nicholas without reservation. Here Mulder of The X-Files didn’t just romance Scully, but let the unresolved tension between himself and Krycek loose in steamy ways. Here the Gua of First Wave weren’t exclusively heterosexual and neither was Cade Foster. Here Derek Rayne of Poltergeist the Legacy didn’t might be Alex Moreau’s mentor in a classical sense, but he’d once been mentored in a similiar fashion by Victor Arkadi. Here Ivanova and Talia of Babylon 5 could explore their romance in more depth. Here Methos and Duncan from Highlander could not just live together, but do so like a married couple. Here Buffy and Faith, the Slayers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer could express their intimate rivalry in other ways than their fists. Here the Watchers from Highlander and Buffy the Vampire Slayer could interact not only with the Legacy, but the Talamasca.

Fanfiction was a deep, guilty pleasure I dared not indulge in myself, even if I lurked obsessively. I was warned if I wanted to see any of my original stories published, I couldn’t be caught writing fanfiction. To make it even more of a guilty pleasure, two of my favorite writers spoke out and took legal action against those who wrote fanfic about their characters.

This crushed me. I felt as if my lover had revealed herself as religious right in the middle of making out, to expose me to a hostile, homophobic public.

Thank every higher power in creation for Storm Constantine. She saved me. I turned to her writing when trying to turn away from my former favorites’s writing. There was a void where they’d been. Storm’s exquisite, poetic prose, rich in slashy characters filled that void.

Storm Constantine had a site with fanfic links. In a moment of bravery, I told her how much I loved her writing. I presented her with a couple of fanfic stories and a poem.

Her thanks and acceptance was a release for my repressed creativity. Being able to write fanfic spurred me on in my original works, breathing life into them once more.

Now I’ve found Archive of Our Own, a wonderful site which feels just right to post on. I’m able to share some of those ideas which have been brewing in my head for years.

As I go through my files of unfinished stories, I find fragments of story I never dare to share. I find stories about Micki Foster of Friday the 13th: The Series and Cade Foster of First Wave being cousins (on the opposite side of the family as Ryan Dallion and Uncle Lewis Vendredi) along with descendants of Nick Knight from Forever Knight. There are stories where Natalie Lambert and Tracy Vetter of Forever Knight find themselves roused from death as Immortals part of Highlander’s Game while Janette Du Charme turns Tessa Noel into a vampire. Duncan MacLeod starts having flashbacks of both Janette and Nicholas feeding on him while Methos recalls how much he teased General Lucius, a.k.a. LaCroix when he was Death.

Colonel Grace of First Wave reveals that she’s not only part of the Illuminati, but Kristen Adams’s aunt in Poltergeist the Legacy; as well as having connections to the Syndicate in The X-Files. This is why Kristen Adams died on Poltergeist the Legacy, after dying previously as Faith’s Watcher in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Kristen was cloned, but why do none of her clones have the acidic green blood of a human/alien hybrid? Why does she disappear like a Gua, something everyone who witnesses her deaths have trouble remembering? Why was Alex in her fluctating vampire state able to not only drink Kristen’s blood, but have some of her humanity return?

All of these stories have been brewing in my imagination for years. Now some of them are finally taking shape in stories.

I’m reminded of them as I watched Kristen Lehman in Midnight Mass and Altered Carbon, remembering some of the crazy crossover ideas I had for Kristen Adams of Poltergeist the Legacy. I’m reminded of them as I sort through my files, finding old fanfics I wished I could share, but didn’t dare.

Thank you, Archive of Our Own, for being a place where I can at last share these stories. Thank you to everyone who ever gave me kudos there. You gave me the courage to stop lurking and start writing.
Thank you to all the fanfic writers I was too shy to thank when I was lurking, secretly savoring your stories. You led the way. You were brave. You are amazing. You inspire others to be amazing, too.

Thank you to Storm Constantine for being the divinely creative and supportive force that you were and are, even if you’re no longer with us. Your words are eternally charged with that spirit. To read you is to remind me of that spirit.

May your spirit continue to guide and inspire us all.
rhodrymavelyne: (Default)
I’m so glad the Doctor is now asking the question as well.

I have my own theories about the Doctor’s past, the past that the Doctor remembers.
Many believed Claire Bloom was the Doctor’s mother, but I wonder if she wasn’t the Doctor’s father. Perhaps I should say the Time Lord the Doctor believed to be his father. In that incarnation, she was referred to as an angel covering her face in shame. Her posture was similiar to that of a Weeping Angel.

Is that what happens to certain Time Lords; shamed, disgraced, and cut off from the Time Vortex? Do they become Weeping Angels?

As for the Doctor’s mother, the Doctor has said he’s vague on the concept of motherhood. (The Doctor was David Tennant as the time.) He’s also said he was half-human. (The Doctor was Paul McGann at the time.)

The Doctor has also said she has seven grans, the fifth was her favorite, even if the fifth thought the second was a Zygon. (The Doctor was Jodie Whittaker at the time.) I would love to see more of that, even if it’s in a flashback, what with the ruined Gallifrey, but to return to the Doctor’s mother (who might have no relation to the seven grans).

What if the Doctor believed their mother was from Earth? What if the Doctor’s reasons for first coming to Earth (that they can remember) was to find their mother, a human woman they never knew? What if the Doctor was still looking for her, even as they find and connect with many other humans? (This may be why Adelaide Brook, her daughter, and granddaughter touched him in a very personal way in The Waters of Mars.)

The Doctor’s past was revealed to be a lie, but the Doctor’s memories may still feel real to the Doctor. Where did the lies come from? How much truth is symbolically hidden within them? How will the truth continue to bleed through the lies the Doctor thought were the truth?

I hope future episodes of Doctor Who will explore further the Doctor’s memories; the one he has and the ones which were lost. I’m looking forward to what the upcoming episodes will explore.

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